10 Ways to be a Good Spouse

Ideas to Keep Your Marriage Strong and Healthy

Dec 8, 2008 Denise Oliveri

Even good marriages can be made better. It takes time, commitment and love. Here are 10 ways to improve on your marriage, and make yourself a better spouse.

You may have the perfect marriage. The fights between you and your spouse are limited. The finances are in good shape, and each partner knows the situation. And, you and your spouse take a date night each week. Can you believe that there are other ways to make sure you are a good spouse? Here is some food for thought.

Think About the Other Person

Think of good ways to avoid being selfish. A marriage involves two people who need to be thinking of each other at all times. There needs to be both give and take in all marriages. While your needs to be met are a valid thing, they can't always come first in the relationship. Your spouse's needs sometimes should be held above your own.

Take the time to express your gratitude. Things in a relationship should not always be held for granted. A mere "thank you" can go a long way in showing your spouse how you feel about what he did for you. It can be for a big thing he has done or for a simple, mundane thing.

Don't forget to share. This holds true for both good and bad things you might have to share with each other. By failing to share, you shut out your spouse, and keep them from supporting and helping you through tough times. Marriage involves the celebration of good things, and the talking over of the bad things.

Remember that your marriage is a partnership. Each marriage is a true connection between you and your spouse. Spending too much time with someone besides your spouse, and sharing your deep and personal feelings with that person, can make your spouse feel left out and unappreciated.

Be careful of your financial situation. Sometimes in a relationship, you can have one spouse be a saver and the other spouse be a spender. It is vital that spending and savings be discussed early in the relationship so as to avoid conflict with one another. Set a budget and stick with it. Keep track of what you spend and what you save.

Remember to Think About Yourself

Watch your own level of independence. Even if you can get everything accomplished by yourself, let your spouse know that she is really needed. All people need to feel needed sometimes. Spruce up your spouse's self esteem by letting her in on what you are doing every once in a while.

Watch your level of dependency. On the other hand, being too dependent on your spouse for every little thing can make him feel overwhelmed and want to stay away from you for a while. Being the person who has to do every little thing can become a very heavy burden.

Avoid overextending yourself. It is possible to get too emotionally involved in hobbies, communities, and job skills that your spouse takes second place. It can create conflict and stress between members of a couple. Everyone has things she wants to do that don't involve her spouse, but there is a balance that must be kept between the two of you in order for your marriage to remain happy.

Choose not to become a martyr. When one or the other in a relationship becomes a martyr, resentments can build up. Marriage ideally should involve both give and take between members. Pay attention when one or the other is afraid to take a stand on an issue.

Don't worry about the little things. In a marriage, there will always be habits and idiosyncrasies that bother one or the other spouse. These are the small things that are not worth bickering over. Let them go and focus on the bigger things instead.

Keeping a marriage strong and healthy does take a lot of work. It makes the work a lot easier (and sometimes more fun) when you are on the same page as your spouse, and you are doing your part to make your spouse feel special. It is a work of heart when you truly love your partner.

The copyright of the article 10 Ways to be a Good Spouse in Marriage is owned by Denise Oliveri. Permission to republish 10 Ways to be a Good Spouse in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Be a Good Spouse