Communicating With Your Spouse

Respect, Love, and Good Communication in Marriage

Sep 17, 2007 Jean Marie Lockwood

Marriage is hard work, but if we know how to talk to each other it will be easier. Here are some tips to help know how to communicate with your spouse.

When a couple is planning a wedding, the excitement and busyness that surrounds them may drown out any potential problems, such as lack of communication. When the honeymoon is over and normal daily life together begins is when problems may be noticed- but are not taken seriously because it is all new.

Communication is the main factor in a successful marriage. If a couple is able to talk to each other about everything that concerns them, they will get through just about anything.

Here are some tips to enable you to successfully communicate as a couple.

• Respect each other in your communication. Agree on things such as no name calling, even while arguing. Don't talk down to each other.
• Don't use terms such as "you always", and "I never".
• Be a good listener. Use body language to let your spouse know you are truly listening. Rephrasing what has been said, to make sure you are understanding what is meant can help make sure there is no misunderstanding.
• Make the tough subjects easier by bringing humor into it. Talking about sex can be difficult at first, but if you use humor, it can become easier. Be honest, but keep a good sense of humor.
• Don't hesitate to tell each other what you like. Too often married couples only say what they don't like. This can cause hurt feelings and make it seem like a hopeless situation. If you talk about the things that you enjoy and agree on, as much or more than the things you don't like or agree on, it creates a positive atmosphere to communicate in.
• When you notice things about your spouse that you would like to see change, remember that there are things about you that he would like to see change too. If you work on changing yourself, rather than on changing your spouse- you will see big changes in your perspective.
• Touching, whether holding hands, or sitting against eachother while talking, will keep you aware of how close you are to eachother, and make it less likely that you will say things you will regret later.
• Keep sarcasm and a mocking tone far from your conversation. These things can cause hurt, resentment, and make it harder to talk about important things.
• When you feel distance growing, say so. There is nothing wrong with telling your spouse that you need some of her time. As a matter of fact, being open about such things is what will draw you closer to each other.
• Make it easy for your spouse to begin to talk by being willing and making it clear that you are in this together. When both of you are working toward the same goal - a happy, healthy, lifelong marriage - being available to eachother has to come first.
• On things that are strictly opinion, don't argue! Agree to disagree. If there are opinions you are not in agreement on...so what?
• Opinion is a personal thing that does not make or break a relationship. Allow differences of opinion, and accept that yours may not be the only one that is alright.
• Don't rehash the past. If something is in the past, has already been dealt with and resolved- leave it there. Bringing up the past is a communication killer. Don't allow things that are in the past to ruin you future.

If a couple works together, agreeing on communicating effectively - the marriage can be happy, harmonious, and healthy - for life.

The copyright of the article Communicating With Your Spouse in Marriage is owned by Jean Marie Lockwood. Permission to republish Communicating With Your Spouse in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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