People engage in various ways to communicate. These days there are emails, blogs, sms messages, the mobile phone as well as the good old fashioned way of face to face. Often though, communication leads to arguments and disagreements. One of the ways to reduce this from occurring is to work on improving listening skills.
Effective Communication
Communication is not only about speaking. To be effective in communication, one must have good listening skills. It can be difficult to be an effective communicator when the listening sills are lacking. Listening skills are essential in gathering information during the communication process. Particularly in relationships, good listening skills are essential to avoid conflict and enhance the relationship.
Why People Do Not Listen
It is easier to be a poor listener than a good listener. Good listening skills take work. Often people are poor listeners because:
- They think what they have to say is better or more important and thus cannot wait to make their point
- The day has been a busy one and the person does not want to listen to someone else tell of their troubles
- The mind is closed
- The message is interpreted using the listener's experience as opposed to trying to understand a concept from someone else's perspective
- Conclusions are jumped to before the speaker has finished
Symptoms of Poor Listening Skills
- during conversation one person will finish the sentence of the other person
- a person does not let the other person finish the sentence and cuts in with words such as "yeah, I know" or "yes, but"
- one party carries on doing what they were doing before they were spoken to
- no eye contact
Strategies to Improve Listening Skills
Improving listening skills will not happen overnight but some things one can try include:
- Taking a breath before responding is a way to show that some thought is being put into what has been said
- One should not listen with the intent of responding but with an intent of understanding
- Summarizing what has been said can let the other party know an attempt has been made to listen
- Asking questions of the speaker will convey that an interest is being taken in what has been said
The Chinese character for listen (pronounced 'ting') is made up of four characters – the heart, the mind, the ears and the eyes. Something one should bear in mind during any conversation.
Developing good listening skills requires patience. Busy lives make it difficult to give undivided attention when people are speaking to one another. Practicing the skill of good listening though can have a direct link to not only improving personal relationships but also those at work and with employers.
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