Possibly one of the greatest challenges facing couples separated by distance, communication is the lifeblood of the relationship.
In today’s highly mobile world, many couples experience some separation in their marriage. Others, like military couples, will face long separations for months at a time. However, these separations need not be an end to communication in the marriage if both partners are willing to expend a little extra effort.
Use Technology
Get help from today’s technology, including cellular phones, e-mail and Web cam. And don’t forget good, old-fashioned “snail mail”!
- Cell phones – Consider a plan that will allow you to talk to your partner without charging your minutes. That way, neither of you will feel pressured about astronomical phone bills. Agree on a time to call, and make the call a priority, even if it means rearranging schedules. Consider text messaging; a romantic or sexy text message lets your partner know you are thinking about him or her.
- E-mail – The instant nature of e-mail can help a couple stay connected, even when far apart. Don’t know what to write? Tell your partner about your day, your thoughts, your hopes for the future – even your fears. If you had a good day, tell why; if you had a bad day, explain that, too. Your loved one wants to be a part of your life – the good and the bad. Never telling him or her about tough days can give the impression that life is perfect in their absence, which is not the impression you want to give.
- Webcams – Few things are as meaningful as seeing the face of the one you love. A Webcam date can provide something for couples to anticipate, even when on opposite sides of the world. Do be careful about what you do on a Webcam if others have the possibility of seeing it.
Got Mail?
Consider sending a bit of home to your loved one far away. Pick out things that will remind him or her of good times spent with you or other family and friends. He likes a certain college team? Get him something with its logo so he can see it every day. She loves flowers, but you can’t send them to where she is? Consider cutting flower shapes out of paper and writing the reasons you love her on them.
Do be careful about sending anything that can melt or ruin in the mail, like chocolate or baked goods; find out the estimated delivery time, and plan accordingly. Also, ask your loved one about any restrictions he or she may have because of space; a large teddy bear may be cuddly and sweet, but it may overwhelm your loved one’s living quarters.
Remember that packages sent overseas are subject to customs declaration and any restrictions imposed by the receiving country. For example, tobacco products cannot be sent to several countries, including Iceland, Angola and Italy. For more information about restrictions when shipping items from the United States to other countries, see the United States Postal Service Web site.
Prepare for Readjustment
When you are finally reunited, be prepared for a readjustment period. You and your partner will probably have to readjust to how the other manages daily life; after all, you've been apart. Try to consider this time a growth period where each can learn about the other. Be honest with each other and continue communication efforts. If you need help with the adjustments, consider contacting a marriage counselor.
