Men's Health Identifies Five Paths to Infidelity

How to Prevent Marital Affairs, Avoid Becoming a Cheating Partner

Apr 9, 2009 Genna Cockerham

Men can learn the five paths to infidelity identified by Men's Health magazine and prevent marital affairs before they start.

Learning the most common causes of infidelity and how to deal with them can help men avoid becoming a cheating partner, according to “Flirting With Disaster,” an article by Samantha Cleaver in the April 2009 Men’s Health magazine. Cleaver presents five paths to infidelity that have been identified by researchers and provides ways to avoid becoming an unfaithful husband.

Genetics May Play a Role in Marital Affairs

Men who are more likely to stray may not be as affectionate as their partners would like, Cleaver says, due to a variation of a gene that controls the release of the hormone vasopressin. This hormone encourages bonding and protective feelings in men. A 2008 study at Stockholm’s Karolinska Institute showed men who have the variation of the gene are more likely to have problems with commitment and relationships.

Even men who have the genetic variation are not doomed to commit adultery and can take steps to prevent marital affairs. All married men can benefit from taking additional steps to encourage bonding and intimacy. Activities like creating opportunities for intimacy and having sex may increase vasopressin and encourage bonding in married couples. Men can look for opportunities to build closeness throughout the day that will encourage their wives to respond with loving gestures or other contact.

Costs of Cheating Married Men Must Consider

The most common questions men ask themselves when considering adultery is if there is a chance to cheat and will they get caught, according to a study Cleaver cites by Bryant University’s Edinaldo Tebaldi, Ph.D., and University of New Hampshire’s Bruce Elmslie, Ph.D. Women, by contrast, tend to weigh the costs and benefits of being married and cheating.

In order for men to be less at risk for starting a martial affair, they need to take the time to truly weigh the pros and cons of becoming a cheating partner, according to M. Gary Neuman, marriage therapist and author of The Truth About Cheating [Wiley, 2008]. Neuman recommends men consider what they would be losing over the long-term. Men should spend more time at home when they feel temptation, since men who do cheat tend to spend increasing amounts of time away from home before committing adultery. Neuman recommends men tell their wives that there is a problem and that they work together to improve marital problems.

Men Must Identify Threats to Marriage

A recent McGill University study shows that unlike women, who tend to view attractive men as threats to their marriage, men don’t necessarily make this connection with attractive women. In fact, Cleaver says men tend to let their guard down too much in social situation with women.

Men can make an effort to be more conscious of when they are getting into a situation that could threaten their marriages. Before heading into a social setting with a lot of women, men can decide how they will react if they are placed in certain situations. Using if-then contingencies can help men be more adept at identifying risks and avoiding them.

Who is More Prone to Having Affairs?

Research shows married couples who react to each other in negative ways more often than positive ways may be more prone to having affairs, Cleaver says. Eye-rolling and other critical facial expressions can take a toll when they are not balanced out and outweighed by smiles, eye contact and nodding.

While married couples can’t agree on everything, Cleaver recommends husbands look for areas of agreement and keep negative interactions to a minimum. Seeking compromises and trying to keep a positive atmosphere can help to balance out arguing and negative interactions.

Avoid Cheating by Keeping Excitement Alive

When married couples stop encouraging positive growth in each other, they are more likely to look for opportunities for excitement and growth elsewhere, Cleaver says. Cheating spouses tend to find their marriages do not offer them the opportunity to improve who they are as a person.

To avoid infidelity, husbands and wives must find ways to challenge each other to grow. Look for opportunities to learn from each other, to set goals together and to try new experiences together.

There are ways to prevent marital affairs when the paths to infidelity are identified. Men’s Health magazine says husbands can avoid cheating by looking for opportunities to encourage bonding and personal growth with their spouses. In situations where the opportunity for cheating may arise, making a plan in advance to handle these situations can help men become more effective at identifying threats to their marriages.

When faced with the chance for cheating, married men must carefully consider the long-term effects of their actions. Keeping a positive atmosphere at home and addressing marital problems with wives can help to stop a man from becoming an unfaithful husband.

For other ways men can improve their marriages, read Husbands Must Help Kids With Gift Ideas for Mom and Married Couples Should Divide Household Chores. Married couples in crisis may want to Choose a Therapist for Marriage Counseling.

The copyright of the article Men's Health Identifies Five Paths to Infidelity in Marriage is owned by Genna Cockerham. Permission to republish Men's Health Identifies Five Paths to Infidelity in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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Encourage Intimacy to Prevent Affairs	Men Must Weigh Costs of Cheating, Married Life