Stay Connected With a Married Date Night
Experts Say Married Couples Need Creative Dating to Stay Close
Jan 12, 2009
Long-term married couples should not give up on creative dating if they want to keep the excitement alive in marriage.
More Than Date Nights at Home
Date nights at home are often suggested for couples who find married dating with children a challenge. But a married couple who stays home for dates or goes to familiar places isn’t getting the most of their time together, according to Tara Parker-Pope in “Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples,” a Feb. 28, 2008, article in the New York Times. “Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale,” says Parker-Pope.
Married Couples Need Creative Dating
Married couples need more than routine dates, according to Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. Aron and his colleagues have conducted experiments that study how sharing new experiences can increase love and satisfaction in long-term married couples. Introducing new experiences may be crucial to keep married love alive and fresh, he says.
“Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable," says Parker-Pope. “But several experiments show that novelty – simply doing new things together as a couple – may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship.”
Make a Married Date Night
How can a married couple add new experiences to date night? Go beyond the usual dinner and a movie or night out with the same couples. Even if there is one set night a week for married date night, spice it up by trying a new restaurant, inviting a new couple or exploring a new part of town. Taking a new class together or going to an amusement park can be enough to activate the brain’s reward system and recreate romantic love, says Parker-Pope.
Romantic Ideas for Dating a Spouse
Married couples who need romantic ideas for dating a spouse may want to check out Redbook’s 500 Great Dates by Lisa Sussman [Hearst, 2007]. Sussman offers ideas for fun dates, sexy dates and upgrades to traditional dates. Suggested upgrades to dinner and a movie include matching the menu to the movie, going to a restaurant with a dance floor, and making a “drive-in” by watching a movie on a laptop.
Redbook also suggests starting the night with sex instead of ending it that way. Instead of waiting until the date is over, being intimate with a spouse before a date can make both partners more aware of each other. The physical intimacy deepens the emotional connection as well, which can improve bonding during the date.
Married couples can make the most of a married date night by seeking out new experiences that help to excite the brain and recreate feelings of romantic love. Dating a spouse can be fun and exciting when partners are sharing new experiences.
Other resources for married couples looking to go on dates with their spouses include Take Your Spouse on a Date in the Afternoon and Afternoon Dating is Ideal for Couples With Kids.
References:
Parker-Pope, Tara, “Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples,” Tara Parker-Pope. New York Times, Feb. 28, 2008.
Sussman, Lisa. 500 Great Dates: Creative, Fun, and Sexy Ways to Spend Time Together. NY: Hearst, 2007.
A Married Couple Needs to Stay Connected
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A Married Date Night can Recreate Romantic Love
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Married Couples Need Creative Dating
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