The Immutable Laws of Marital Bliss
Seven Ways to Build Strong Relationships in the Family
It's never easy to establish a connection with someone and even harder to make that relationship work so it lasts a lifetime. Few people ever reach 40, 50 and more years as a married couple and still find themselves in love with their partner as much as they did since they approached the altar.
Today's relationships are flimsy affairs. From the moment a couple meet for the first time to old age, so many things can happen to derail the process. With the divorce rate at 50%, true commitments are hard to come by.
But divorce doesn't need to be the ultimate outcome of marriage. Inflexibility is a major cause why a married couple can't seem to solve their difficulties. But there are "laws" that can insure that a relationship blossoms and a happy marriage keeps on flowering well after the marital vows have been spoken.
No One is Perfect
Realize that no one is perfect. Any relationship, no matter how flawless, will lead to some conflict at some point through the marriage. Everyone has characteristics and a personality that others won't like or appreciate. There are no perfect beings on the planet and none of them will ever meet expectations a hundred percent.
Accept Personal Faults
Many people are willing to accept the faults of others but berate themselves for their own imperfections. Often relationships develop based on perception. Many people try to meet the qualities they perceive their future spouse sees in them. But a relationship based on lies is doomed to failure after the vows have been said. Before a union can be entered into, both sides must accept themselves for who they are and not try to be someone else.
Learn to be Appreciative
Genuine appreciation is lacking in many marriages today. Married couples who have survived decades together have learned to be appreciative of their partner's uniqueness, skills and talents. They constantly express their love for one another through verbal and physical action. No union can survive long without appreciation. Everyone craves it and everyone needs someone to reinforce their sense of self-worth. And it can be done simply through little acts of kindness.
Stop the Makeover
Once a marriage begins one or both partners begin to see the need to cure the flaws of their partner. They argue, nag and bribe to make the other over to some standard they have of them. Unfortunately, they forget the “better or for worse” part at the altar. Even if they could succeed, they would find no comfort in their “perfect” partner as he/she would only reflect back their own faults. No one would ever live long with a replica of themselves.
Commitment With Love
Today's married couple don't see much need in solidifying their relationship through trust and faith. They become suspicious of their partner, wondering if they aren't having an extramarital affair with someone else. Commitment requires the need to make concessions to keep the peace. Any long term relationship will not work if only one partner is prepared to bend over backward while the other refuses to budge or make concessions. Everyone is naturally selfish. They consistently think primarily of themselves. A marriage is a major undertaking as it requires the couple to become selfless. Their thoughts must always focus on their partner and his/her feelings.
The Ability to Communicate
It's never a problem with loving couples until after they've said their vows. That's when they stop talking to each other. They drift apart. The common ground of love they found disappears. The failure of many marriages is often not that married couples fail to talk, but they fail to communicate. Communication does not mean just the ability to talk. Many mutes live in perfectly happy marriages. It's that few people ever learn that communication is an act that requires talking and listening with an open mind to be effective.
Keeping the Peace
No one ever appreciates one's self-respect dragged through the mud by innuendo, accusations and criticism. Neither side should attempt to raise his or her stature in the family by yelling and pointing fingers. Peace in the family requires effort, the effort to squelch self-righteousness in favor of making everyone else feel wanted.
A marriage requires a good deal of effort. Couples who have survived years of economic hardship, watched their children grow and lasted to old age have created a special bond that marks them as shining examples of how peace can be established in a relationship and around the world.
The Family the Plays Together Bonds together
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