Using Sex to Improve a Relationship
Changing Attitude to Having Sex Can Lead to Greater Intimacy
Jun 8, 2009
People in relationships read about improving communication, stress reduction and other strategies to improve their relationship and yet something is still missing. Rarely does one consider increasing ones sexual activity or level of intimacy.
How Much is Too Much Sex ?
Although most people seem to discuss their sex life freely, couples, particularly those with children, seem to rarely find the time for those special moments in their bedroom. It can appear as though everyone from the work colleague to the neighbors and maybe even the adult children are "doing it".
Yet at the end of the day most partners just want to relax and go to sleep. There are the bad work day, the busy home maker day and the 'too tired' excuses. However, this can be a sure way to a relationship becoming stale. Intimacy, after all, is important in a relationship. Generally when one partner has an affair it starts with that person getting intimate with someone else, someone new.
Douglas Brown, in his book Just do It published by Crown Publishers [2008], explores how much is too much sex. He and his wife commit to 101 one days of it with no excuses.
The Result of 101 Days of Continuous Sex
According to Douglas Brown what was amazing was that they actually stuck to their commitment for all 101 days. There were no excuses. During this period, to their astonishment, they grew closer as a couple. Both started to look after their bodies more and exercised and ate healthy.
In a way they were getting to know each other again on a very intimate level. This in turn resulted in a renewed courtship and the couple spending more quality time together.
Douglas Brown and his wife also found that they discovered more about each other and what they liked. To ensure they both kept their interest they tried different things including sex toys and different positions.
Practical Tips to Have More Intimacy
- If there are children one can let them watch a video and lock the bedroom door.
- A baby sitter can be hired to look after them while one goes out. A hotel room can provide for privacy.
- One should be creative and talk freely about ones desires.
- One should not be afraid to share and explore.
- One should set aside time each week to have sex with their partner.
Is Intimacy Necessary
One might read this and come to the conclusion that sex is not necessary. The relationship is moving along fine and there is no need for change. Apart from the pure joy of getting to know your partner better, maybe even re-discovering them, there are health reason for having regular sex.
Sex and It's Health Benefits
It is a well known fact that sex is a great form of exercise. Thus it can help reduce weight, reduce the risk of cancer (particularly for men) and improve a sense of smell. In addition, sex has other health benefits as well.
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