What's Your Love Language?
Find Out Your Primary Love Language With This Questionnaire
Each of us has a 'love language' - the unique way you express your love for a special person. This questionnaire will help you discover your personal language of love.
Each of us has a ‘love language’ – the unique way you express your love for a special person. Your love language reflects not only your way of loving but your emotional needs as well. Remember, as Australian relationship counsellor Carole Kelly says: “What you give to someone (in your primary way of loving) is what you want back for yourself.”
There are five main languages of love:
- Quality time together
- Physical touch
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Words of Affirmation
A person’s love language is made up primarily of one of these five modalities, with lesser amounts of one or two others. When partners don’t share the same love language or don’t understand the other person’s way of expressing their love and emotional needs, communication difficulties develop, and the relationship can struggle
To find which one is your love language, tick the answers below that appeal to you most. For the questionnaire to be effective in pinpointing your language of love, you must tick the answer that reflects what you would like, not necessarily what is happening in your relationship.
- My partner likes to surprise me with little gifts.
- My partner helps with chores around the house.
- I love to hold hands with my partner when we’re walking.
- My partner and I enjoy sitting together by the fire.
- I frequently tell my partner how wonderful they are.
- Celebrating birthdays and anniversaries is important to me.
- I show my love for my partner by cooking them a special meal.
- My partner likes to cuddle me a lot.
- Spending time alone with my partner is very important to me.
- My partner often gives me words of encouragement and support.
- I like to buy gifts for my partner.
- I will go to a sports event or a movie with my partner even though I’d rather not.
- We enjoy giving each other neck massages.
- My partner likes to meet me for lunch every day.
- We tell each other how much we admire and support them.
Which Language Is Yours?
Your primary love language will be reflected by three ticks in the same grouping. Some people will have two ticks in several categories, and occasionally people will have two or three languages of equal importance, but for most, your primary love language will be clear.
• Quality time together
Questions 4, 9, 14
• Physical touch
Questions 3, 8, 13
• Gifts
Questions 1, 6, 11
• Acts of Service
Questions 2,7,12
• Words of Affirmation
Questions 5,10,15
What’s Your Partner’s Love Language?
Now you know what your emotional needs are, as expressed in your primary love language, see if you can work out what your partner’s primary language is. Understanding each other’s love language is a great way to improve your communication as a couple.
You could do the questionnaire again by yourself, or better still, do it with your partner to get a clear picture of hislanguage of love. Once both of you can really communicate your love for each other and your emotional needs, the relationship can only grow better.
See also: What Does your Love Language Say?
